The Battle with Weight

The moment puberty strikes me the hardest at the age of 14 years old, my size was an L despite only at an average height of 160cm. My face was round, red and pimply, my tummy looked bloated, my thighs expanded at an outrageous rate(I seriously hate to wear jeans when I was a teen because none of them fit properly), my calf becomes a carrot, not the real vegetable, I mean its shape. Sigh… Baggy tees and comfy loose Bermudas were my only style. My posture was bad too as I love to slouch like the cartoon character Hunchback of Notte Dame. My head always hung low because I just wanted to be invisible like Harry Potte in his invisible cloak. In short, I really felt ugly and never went out with my friends and classmates. I actually never went out at all during my secondary school to even university days. I shun cameras and ran far, far away from photo-taking events as if they are lepers. I will rather be taking photos than to be taken.

The only comfort is to immense myself in books. Lots of them and I even slept with them as if they are cuddly teddy bears. I was thrilled to be selected in the school Chinese dance club but my happiness was short-lived. My dance instructress wasn’t that pleased with my built especially my lower body. In fact, I was the biggest sized looking girl among my petite and slim schoolmates. There was even once I overheard my dance instructress passing the comment “She had elephant thighs” to the teacher-in-charge when I was on my way to the toilet. This casual remark pierced right through my heart and I quietly made my way to the warm up floor, forgetting I needed to pee. For so long, I had yet to get over this hurtful remarks. I lost interest in the Chinese dance though I did secretly hoped I can dance my way to a slimmer body. Nay… nothing like that happen. I was too preoccupied with preparing for my exams especially for the Olevel. At least, I had better luck with the national exams since I’m really a “bookworm”.

I was not an active girl since my Secondary school days. All the seatwork in the classroom, long hours studying, bingeing on junk food and the escape from PE lessons really my lifestyle more sedentary than ever. When I entered junior college, I was in my biggest built ever. Though weighing at 53kg, I looked seriously plump because I also had a lot of baby fats to shed. Till then, I realized the orange peel look on my thighs were actually cellulite. I accidentally scratch my thighs with my nails one day and wondered what that white, lingering streak was on my thighs. My mum teased me about cellulite. I was deeply horrified! I had cellulite at the age of 17. Arghhh….. I was still not doing anything about it because I was preoccupied in my Alevel exams. I only know I wanted to get into the University and the other non-life threatening matters can wait.

I plucked up the courage to join a slimming center at the age of 18 years old. For the first time in my life, I am doing something about my weight. Though such package is expensive, I was determined to shed pounds off. I succeeded!

Yet such a success was short lived, weight tend to rebound once I revert to a dormitory lifestyle. The results were not sustainable. I embarked in yo-yo diet, protein diet and meal-replacement diet. I haven’t even touched on the topic of exercise. I also tested a variety of exercise from heart-pumping cardio exercise to slow, mediating ones like yoga and Pilates. Even till the day I gave birth, the battle with weight still continued. Despite all the ups and downs, I preserved to find the best approach to slim down and this time focusing my effort  to sustain the results in the long run.

Stay tuned as I shared my first experience in the slimming center.